Canada's Jungle Politics with a nattering squirrel

I had a chance to watch the French Language debates featuring the representative leaders of Canada's political parties.
The left side of the political spectrum put up quite the united front and it became quite clear that we are faced with Jungle Politics with a nattering squirrel.

Let me explain!

Brotherhood of Chimps

You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours

"Cooperating improves the chance for survival and reproduction, and it could give mammals two types of evolutionary advantage. If you cooperate with a brother, who shares many of your genes, both of you may have more offspring."

- Explains how the "left" side of the political species continue to reproduce.

Lets' look at Chimp and the Left Intelligence.
Chimpanzee Intelligence

• they have sophisticated hunting(political) strategies that require cooperation, and allow animals to achieve influence and rank by sharing meat(or not running candidates in closely contested ridings)
  
• they are highly status conscious and manipulative, capable of deception(sounds like the left side of the political spectrum)
• they are analytical and problem-solvers, clearly capable of insight and complex "cognitive performance" in both the wild and in captivity, and particularly adept at analyzing relative relationships(when the left is cornered, they band together to create a united front)
  

Let's look a little closer at these "chimps" from the Left.

Stephane Dion


Confused? Making up some new policies on the fly during the debate. Calm down monkey.. it will be alright, you'll figure out how to run a good political campaign in another election... if you're lucky.

Gilles Duceppe


Always looking for a hand-out? Always thinking about what is good for Quebec and we know you don't care about the rest of Canada. Why are you even allowed to debate? Bad Monkey! Bad monkey for all of Canada.

Jack Layton



Ahh... the caring and thoughtful monkey but has no real clues about appealing to all of Canadians by becoming a more central party. We (the majority of Canadians) don't cuddle criminals and we don't smoke dope little monkey. We don't want dope sold in the local 7-Eleven. It's bad enough when kids have drinking parties. Do you want them to have NDP "I smoke dope" parties?

Elizabeth May

This annoying but sometimes adorable little forest creature can get on our political nerves. She is a nattering chipmunk that goes on and on about a man-made climate crisis. This is a crisis that is split down the middle in the international scientific community with conflicting theories. Of course this unbalanced chipmunk can only focus on one. So to fix her version of the crisis; she would either shut-down the oilsands to reduce our carbon footprint (the federal government would lose 10-20+ billion in overall taxes) or have them pay 10-20 billion in carbon-credits that will destroy further investment in the oilsands. These carbon credits would slow-down or possibly shut-down oilsands production and the results would be huge job losses. There will be NO CARBON REDUCTION if credits are paid; it's just a transfer of wealth. She will use the carbon credit money by offering tax credits for companies using and creating Green technology. But if the oil companies invest in Green technology; she will have to give tax credits to an industry that she despises. What a BAD chimpmunk. If you store too much junk in your cheeks, you're bound to spill out some outrageous hot air.